SPIRITUALITY LETS BE SERIOUS.

It appears everywhere you look you can now find books, magazines, blogs and even video clips about every aspect of spirituality. There is enough information out there already to last two life times and that’s great, people’s awareness and opinions seem to be changing from a total disregard of the subject to one of a raised eyebrow of interest or dare I say it, to a big toe in the water, and with so much negativity being thrown down our throats who can blame people for looking elsewhere to brighten up the day a little.

The material content out there is a mixed bag – some very good, some very bad yet most of it is simply repeating other people’s teachings and experiences over and over again with a fancy new sugar coated twist. So I find myself writing this with a mixture of emotions: the biggest part of me feels “why bother”, but I have nothing better to do on this sunny Sunday afternoon, the kids are out playing it’s international weekend so no football on and it would just be good to get a few things off my chest and on to paper. The annoying thing is, I have this little niggling part of me that goes against everything I have promised myself and others, that feels a need to express this stuff for the few people out there that might just want and need to hear it.

So lets bring you up to speed with things, 2008 and the closest thing I came to anything spiritual was to see if Mystic Meg had the lotto numbers for me in the daily paper and I did once stand on an old bible to get a better look on a top shelf.
It’s fair to say things had not been going great at work for the past 6 to 12 months and had in turn put pressure on finances, so when one night while at work “Bang” or should I say ” BOO ” – my first spiritual experience. Looking back it could so easily have been brushed off as tiredness, stress, or even an unusual coincidence of freaky events, but after explaining the whole episode to a close friend one thing led to another and before I knew it we were sat giggling at the back of a spiritual church and purchasing my first pack of angel and tarot cards from some fancy little new age shop in Sweden.
Eureka I have found the true meaning of life, a life after life everything, is going to be ok now I remember thinking, my business will be miraculously saved, money will flow to me with ease, people will chant my name and throw petals where I walk upon hearing of this amazing feat. The experiences came like water from a tap as did people who wanted a reading or help developing their own ability and wanting to know how I was doing it all, the truth was then as it is now “I do not know” .

It was an great escape from all the every day stuff I had going on, it was so exciting and fun and my thirst to know more and understand things better went unquenched. If someone said to me they were interested or actually did anything spiritual then I was all ears… hey here are my house keys and the pin number to my debit card help yourself, because my thoughts during the early days was if your’e feeling and experiencing things like me than surely there is not a bad bone or thought in your body, lets all drink green tea, hold hands and chant OMMMMM in a dark room around a candle until we feel so happy you would think there was something extra in the incense sticks.

By now I hope you have picked up on a slight sarcasm in these paragraphs because the real facts were that while these amazing experiences were happening, nothing much else was, my business’s continued to follow the inevitable and ended up closing down, my properties were either sold or taken from me as was my transport and with my business went my job and income, but hey lets not worry, pack away those violins, I was now surrounded by all theses new found friends and was making people happy on a daily basis by connecting them with loved ones or telling them what was likely to be happening in the next few months. Surely all this new heaven sent work I was doing and just being so happy and positive would soon open the gates of manifestation and the new direction paved with gold will magically appear before me at any time. Local papers wrote a few articles, as did a top spiritual magazine, weekly demonstrations in front of small audiences followed, several development workshops a week and one-to-one private readings most days. Finally I was heading in a direction with purpose once more, but no, hold on to your crystal ball and head scarfs instead it seems I managed to open the doors of not only sceptic central but to every opinionated do-gooder from born-again Christians telling me I will burn in hell for evermore, to the witches of East-wick informing me that my aura is in need of a magic wash, to a fascinating woman who had the whole angelic realm in her handbag just underneath her purse and business cards.

This was all to much to take it was no longer fun, it was bordering on weird and damn right frightening. Then with people I had never met taking it upon themselves to put 2+2 together and make 5, and printing articles with words like liar and fraud I could see things heading in only one direction and I’m not talking about cracking the American music industry, I read somewhere that I was so rich from my new found work that it was the real reason my business closed, but If they ever bothered to ask me, book a reading or speak to any number of people who had came to see me they would of quickly been informed I hardly ever charged. I was and in ways still am on my own agenda, I wanted in -fact I needed- unknown clients to book appointments so I could carry out my own tests and build my own records of evidence and portfolio of the information I was receiving, I needed to know did I always feel energy to the right for male? and energy to the left for female? Did the symbol of an apple always represent the illness cancer? Did broccoli always mean bronchitis? Did a stork always mean a baby on the way and did seeing a celebrity always mean that was the first name of the person trying to connect, the only way to learn and develop was to read for more people and the more new experiences and symbols you linked together the more people you need but trying to get the balance between time wasters, piss takers, and actual interested clients is a whole other story.
Over the course of nearly 3 years I would not like to think how much money was spent on things like attending other peoples courses, having readings from people who said they were mediums or psychics, fancy fairs and general overhead costs, none of which I could attribute to my own understandings, but a day out I guess?
I used to be there telling people on a daily basis how important it is to be positive have trust and that everything is exactly how it needs to be but on the inside I was screaming out
“Nothing seems to be going very well for me”

You would think at some point all of these people with amazing gifts I was surrounded by would pick up on some of my personal information? But no, not as much as my kids or partner’s names or what my profession was, or the closure of my business. Ha Ha Ha what a dumb ass I hear you say, and maybe you’re right, slowly as I pulled back from being so full on and due to a few very unpleasant spiritual experiences, things no longer seemed so appealing to my list of new found acquaintances and I saw less and less of them, and those of them who felt things never quite turned out as beautifully as they were expecting even jumped on the rolling bandwagon of bullshit and slander and went to great lengths to try and discredit my work.
I could no longer do this it was making me ill, upsetting my family and there was nothing and I mean nothing to make me feel that I should continue.
I remember being told early on a spiritual path is like a roll-a-coaster, (no shit Sherlock) and over these years I have had some great highs in terms of personal experiences and have made some very close friends from it all, but there has been some unbearable lows, both mentally and emotionally which I can find no reasonable answers for, and for this I was left with more questions than you could ever think possible. It’s been over 5 years since I said no more I’m done with it all, my life has moved on.
I went back to college,got a new job and even relocated for a fresh start, but I can not run from what burns inside of me and at times comes with such ease. It would be like I’m lying to myself and by not expressing myself or at very least doing something like this article then that would be my biggest regret.

I would love to share so much with people who have a thirst to know more and would like to here more about my experiences and if that in turn answer a few questions then great, but it’s important you know from the off that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and people are on thier own path and at times that might go straight across yours.

Topics to cover and so much more: Reiki, Universal Ordering, Energy, Ghosts, Heaven & Hell, Development, Psychic work, Medium-ship, Tarot, Angels, Spirit Guides, Feelings and emotions.