It’s been several weeks since my last blog entry and I wish I could be telling you about all the amazing miracles that the universe has delivered me but I can not. I have been left so cheesed off with everything spiritual again, and not because I have not been doing any spiritual work in-fact the opposite, I have thrown myself in head first like I normally do, trying to help people with problems and making connections for those that have lost people. You see in a world were many of us believe if your good, giving and work hard you will one day be rewarded, unfortunately I’m yet to see any real evidence and results of this and I’m talking over a thirty plus year period here, you see as much as I have always had faith in the universe and all it’s greatness it has to date delivered nothing positive back for me what’s so ever, in-fact I would go as far as to say the opposite, it has just took and left me worse off. I’m a positive person and follow all doctrines ect but I’m also a realist and at times have to state facts and that is to date the reality of the situation. And before anyone say’s or starts thinking things like, well you have to be grateful you wake up each morning or you have your health, I say this, if that is enough in life for you and gets you through the day then god bless you, your are lucky to have that mind set. I how ever am firmly in the camp of we are here for a good time not a long time, and if we can help others along the way then great but for me the biggest regret I could think possible on your death bed would to be if you never got to do all the things you wished, you had. May be people who say they are truly grateful for what they have, have just really made a deep down conscience acceptance with the fact that there dreams are no longer likely and its easier to say that than keep chasing rainbows????? or maybe there expectations in life were not that high to begin with??? Everyone to there own I guess.
I on the other hand have had to build and rebuild my life several times from nothing only for someone or something to come along and knock it down again or for things to not go the way I have planned or expected and for the most part people have done things for there own selfish gains or to try and better them self’s and that’s including so called spiritual people. I don’t buy in to all the shit when people say look at what you have got compared to less fortunate, that is such an easy excuse and cop out just as much as a priest or vicar saying have faith, how can it possible for people to say in one hand the universe is full of abundance with more than enough for all, but in the next allow people to go with out. The whole spirituality subject itself has so many flaws and contradictions to suit the time or reason it would sit nicely in the houses of parliament or a third world presidency election race. So I wonder for every person that we read or hear about that being positive and spiritual has allowed them to be having amazing things happen in there life, how many have followed the path but have had nothing happen, in-fact its driven them in to a worse predicament then if they had never bothered in the first place. I would argue it is no different than business owners or actors where you only here of the ones that manage to a lucky break and make it, and even those are not always the most talented or hardest working, in-fact many have been born with silver spoons in there mouths and have there people call there people and so on, nothing is ever said of the millions that fail and lose everything. So the question still has to be, why bother?
It is so easy to use the faith card or trust in the source, but the facts are I know plenty of people who have given everything and I know people who have given nothing and both sets of people are now pushing up daisies, with it making no difference what so ever. And you can not say it does because that would mean that the Almighty source judges and we all know that could never be the case of a source of love??? What makes all this worse for me is seeing others who I know trying so hard to make a difference with nothing going there way either, the pain and disappointment it causes is so wrong. Over the last few months I have connected with some amazing people who have spent years and years of there life and invested so much blood, sweat, tears, finance and never mind the pressure it has put on family and friends while they pursue these callings from the heart to raise awareness for amazing projects such as things like aid for refugee camps in the desert for people who for many of us have never even heard of or even knew they were there and what is going on, or the size of the homelessness problem on our own streets here in the UK.
I have also had a good friend from my past come back into my life recently who has spent years following a near death experience trying to elevate an amazing project involving positive-ness for the children of the world with her Positivity Princess brand and logo of love care share, all of which was a mission and calling from source to pursue, but again the universe fails to support what is in essence such a worthy cause. What makes it worse is that so many things surrounding all these amazing people and projects seem to indicate or raise hopes that something is going to finally happen only for it to fall short or for things not to be followed through or promises made by others broken. But wait for it let’s through the old classic in here, it’s all about timing or something better is just around the corner?? Lets be honest if anyone keeps being knocked down and bouncing back like a weeble sooner or later it would feel like the slightest bit of good fortune is a miracle that has gone your way.
This is also true and can be said with my own spiritual journey, I have spent hours upon hours over the past few weeks and lets not even mention the emotional rollercoaster over the last ten years and for no reason other than it might help people, and lately helping people who I have never and probably will never even meet, receiving information and messages for them and passing it on. May be I think and believe what has been happening is more amazing then other do, but how can it be that I can sit here in my living room look at a photo and tell a stranger who I have never met the names of their ex partners, current partners, children’s names, people who have crossed over, stuff about there past, stuff about there future and I’m not going into detail here, the stuff that has been coming through has been unreal and validated. I have tried to make opportunities happen, I have made several advances to magazines and other connections to try and get this out there, and I have always been more than happy to put my money where my mouth regarding it all and have told them this, but nothing not even as much as a reply, so the question still is what is the point.
And while all this has been going on of late my own life seems to have hit problem after problem again, which not only makes me think why and how can you continue to keep trying to help others while taking knock after knock and not having anything positive happen to support and make you feel that you should keep on this path. It creates the opposite and makes you just questions everything.
Spirit, source, god what ever you want to call things are not stupid, energies intelligence is unlimited, I know this first hand, it can see people’s intentions either good or bad, it can see people struggling and what is going on but yet nothing, so there is no fairness involved so just like when I felt I had to walk away from it all five years ago, unless some miracle happens I will be looking to sort things out in my physical world and plod on like every other zombie walking around that is more interested in a bunch of zero talented reality TV people than what this amazing world really has to offer.
Well I guess some will say it is all a test, well I will say, I was never very good at tests at school and I can live that, good luck in your test’s people.