Why Bother, If we end up in the same place anyway?

It’s been several weeks since my last blog entry and I wish I could be telling you about all the amazing miracles that the universe has delivered me but I can not.  I have been left so cheesed off with everything spiritual again, and not because I have not been doing any spiritual work in-fact the opposite, I have thrown myself in head first like I normally do, trying to help people with problems and making connections for those that have lost people.  You see in a world were many of us believe if your good, giving and work hard you will one day be rewarded, unfortunately I’m yet to see any real evidence and results of this and I’m talking over a thirty plus year period here, you see as much as I have always had faith in the universe and all it’s greatness it has to date delivered nothing positive back for me what’s so ever, in-fact I would go as far as to say the opposite, it has just took and left me worse off.  I’m a positive person and follow all doctrines ect but I’m also a realist and at times have to state facts and that is to date the reality of the situation.   And before anyone say’s or starts thinking things like, well you have to be grateful you wake up each morning or you have your health, I say this, if that is enough in life for you and gets you through the day then god bless you, your are lucky to have that mind set.  I how ever am firmly in the camp of we are here for a good time not a long time, and if we can help others along the way then great but for me the biggest regret I could think possible on your death bed would to be if you never got to do all the things you wished, you had.  May be people who say they are truly grateful for what they have, have just really made a deep down conscience acceptance with the fact that there dreams are no longer likely and its easier to say that than keep chasing rainbows????? or maybe there expectations in life were not that high to begin with??? Everyone to there own I guess.

I on the other hand have had to build and rebuild my life several times from nothing only for someone or something to come along and knock it down again or for things to not go the way I have planned or expected and for the most part people have done things for there own selfish gains or to try and better them self’s and that’s including so called spiritual people.  I don’t buy in to all the shit when people say look at what you have got compared to less fortunate,  that is such an easy excuse and cop out just as much as a priest or vicar saying have faith, how can it possible for people to say in one hand the universe is full of abundance with more than enough for all, but in the next allow people to go with out. The whole spirituality subject itself has so many flaws and contradictions to suit the time or reason it would sit nicely in the houses of parliament or a third world presidency election race.  So I wonder for every person that we read or hear about that being positive and spiritual has allowed them to be having amazing things happen in there life, how many have followed the path but have had nothing happen, in-fact its driven them in to a worse predicament then if they had never bothered in the first place.  I would argue it is no different than business owners or actors where you only here of the ones that manage to a lucky break and make it, and even those are not always the most talented or hardest working, in-fact many have been born with silver spoons in there mouths and have there people call there people and so on, nothing is ever said of the millions that fail and lose everything.  So the question still has to be, why bother?

It is so easy to use the faith card or trust in the source, but the facts are I know plenty of people who have given everything and I know people who have given nothing and both sets of people are now pushing up daisies, with it making no difference what so ever.  And you can not say it does because that would mean that the Almighty source judges and we all know that could never be the case of a source of love???  What makes all this worse for me is seeing others who I know trying so hard to make a difference with nothing going there way either, the pain and disappointment it causes is so wrong.  Over the last few months I have connected with some amazing people who have spent years and years of there life and invested so much blood, sweat, tears, finance and never mind the pressure it has put on family and friends while they pursue these callings from the heart to raise awareness for amazing projects such as things like aid for refugee camps in the desert for people who for many of us have never even heard of or even knew they were there and what is going on, or the size of the homelessness problem on our own streets here in the UK.

I have also had a good friend from my past come back into my life recently who has spent years following a near death experience trying to elevate an amazing project involving positive-ness for the children of the world with her Positivity Princess brand and logo of love care share, all of which was a mission and calling from source to pursue, but again the universe fails to support what is in essence such a worthy cause.  What makes it worse is that so many things surrounding all these amazing people and projects seem to indicate or raise hopes that something is going to finally happen only for it to fall short or for things not to be followed through or promises made by others broken.  But wait for it let’s through the old classic in here, it’s all about timing or something better is just around the corner?? Lets be honest if anyone keeps being knocked down and bouncing back like a weeble sooner or later it would feel like the slightest bit of good fortune is a miracle that has gone your way.

This is also true and can be said with my own spiritual journey, I have spent hours upon hours over the past few weeks and lets not even mention the emotional rollercoaster over the last ten years and for no reason other than it might help people, and lately helping people who I have never and probably will never even meet, receiving information and messages for them and passing it on.  May be I think and believe what has been happening is more amazing then other do, but how can it be that I can sit here in my living room look at a photo and tell a stranger who I have never met the names of their ex partners, current partners, children’s names, people who have crossed over, stuff about there past, stuff about there future and I’m not going into detail here, the stuff that has been coming through has been unreal and validated.  I have tried to make opportunities happen, I have made several advances to magazines and other connections to try and get this out there, and I have always been more than happy to put my money where my mouth regarding it all and have told them this, but nothing not even as much as a reply, so the question still is what is the point.

And while all this has been going on of late my own life seems to have hit problem after problem again, which not only makes me think why and how can you continue to keep trying to help others while taking knock after knock and not having anything positive happen to support and make you feel that you should keep on this path.  It creates the opposite and makes you just questions everything.

Spirit, source, god what ever you want to call things are not stupid, energies intelligence is unlimited, I know this first hand, it can see people’s intentions either good or bad, it can see people struggling and what is going on but yet nothing, so there is no fairness involved so just like when I felt I had to walk away from it all five years ago, unless some miracle happens I will be looking to sort things out in my physical world and plod on like every other zombie walking around that is more interested in a bunch of zero talented reality TV people than what this amazing world really has to offer.

Well I guess some will say it is all a test, well I will say, I was never very good at tests at school and I can live that, good luck in your test’s people.


Pushing Boundaries

So far the blog has been sharing my past experiences and journey, but the last few weeks have seen my interest and work with spirit come back in abundance after a five year break from it all, I have no idea if this will turn out to play a bigger role in my life at the moment but so many things are happening and more pieces to my unanswered puzzle have materialized which has made me more intrigued than ever.  Although I have not yet got around to writing about my spirit guide I feel he plays an important roll in things that have yet to unfold in my life and all roads lead to back to Michigan.

When it comes to giving readings to people validation and evidence is key and so is my confidence, this plays such an important roll in continuing to do what I do, as is trying to find the reason why I can do what I can and how it can be best used that makes me feel like it’s making a difference.  You can always find people who will try and find some kind of way to discredit the work or come up with some explanation for how it could be possible and this has always pissed me off.  So I am always looking for ways to push the boundaries, I have given readings in front of people and even over a phone, I have given readings from a picture on social media sites to people while having a night out, but over the last few weeks I decided to put my trust firmly on my guide and the information that I received. I wanted to with out any doubt try and make it impossible for any one to make a good argument to discredit the whole subject and my work.

I did this by asking several people to reach out and find people that they knew would benefit from a reading, I asked that they get permission from the person and a photo.  The photo did not have to be the person who wanted the reading, it made no difference if the person in the picture was alive or dead, all that mattered was that it was no connection to the person I had asked to find someone and it must be someone who are paths have never crossed, I also asked that no one else was in the photo and that it had no clues of location or surroundings, I was after complete random people from any where in the world. I also asked that they got sent by an attachment to my email address so there was no social media connection and not by the person who the reading was for.  Soon I started to receive attachments, and when I was in the mood and had some spare time I got to work.  I opened up the first picture and just stared at it, with in seconds I began to feel information, weather the person in the picture was alive, relationship stuff, locations, work and social life I was then aware of spirit trying to connect, in this first photo a young man came forward told me his name and explained he was the brother of the lady in the photo, he explained how and where he died, he explained that he had been with his sister on her holidays since his passing. I spent about thirty minutes writing down all I could and then typed it up and sent it back to the person I knew and asked them to send it on to who ever they had asked for the photo, with-in hours an email came back validating eighty percent of the most important evidence and a few question marks about some of the other less relevant stuff.

The next attachment I opened was a middle aged lady stood in a garden this took me in a whole new direction I had a mother and daughter relationship feeling and was soon aware that the lady in picture was mum, the spirit of the daughter relayed information to me, her name, the sadness and circumstances of her death and so on and so on, again after sending back what I had received came back the email confirming that it was correct.  Attachment after attachment I opened I received information wrote it all down and sent it off not knowing weather any of it would make sense to who ever it was going to, but time after time the returned message was that I was spot on. This has gave me so much more reason and confidence that there has to be a reason for what I can do, and may be my current full time is just not fulfilling my life’s purpose?

I know my journey so far has been a massive learning lesson, one that I have yet to find a mentor or information that serves purpose to my needs and maybe I never will, and to be fair spirit have never let me down, but I am confident there will be people out there at the start of there journey looking for that support and I have a desire to share not just what I can do but how.  I have searched the net and have not yet come across any books that show modern day images, details and explanations of how spirit are communicating with us.  At the start of the year I made a list following things I have learnt through teachings of the law of attraction, and with out doubt ripples have been made in the ocean in reflection to things on my list, I hope over the coming months and future blog entries I can confirm miracles have happened and that the dots are joining up to make a fantastic picture and prove how true and important the mind, body and spirit truly are.


I started the week with the intention of writing about some very dark days and some hard lessons that I have been through with the spiritual stuff, but for one reason or another I did not feel drawn to the computer to keep working on the article.  Instead I have felt quite upbeat and positive so instead I think I’m going to share with you how good it gets for me, and by this I mean how good has a reading really got for me, what level of information and evidence has come through and what has happened to me personally that has left me feeling the whole subject is a bit special.

In the early days If I felt or saw a capital letter or a number in my minds eye or got a shiver down my back I would get excited and feel that it was great, but it hardly carried any weight from a validation or evidence point of view.  Over time I have got to a stage where I have been able to mention surnames, dates of death, birthdays, street names, school friends, holiday destinations, describe events, predict future events as well as past and so much more it goes a long way in making people pay attention or at least think I have a very good party trick that’s worth showing people.  When the energy is positive and strong and the information is flowing with ease it is a complete delight to do what I do, and I get a great sense of satisfaction.  Some of the events and readings stick with me and I’m happy to have been part of the process that was involved that day.  Here is a the short highlighted version of some of these events.

The first story I will share was when a young lady came to see me, I explained how I worked and then closed my eyes and waited to see if anything was going to happen.  On this particular occasion the information was not coming through my minds eye in the usual clairvoyant way this was happening externally, I opened my eyes and started to pay attention to my feelings and my immediate surroundings.  It began with a feeling as if I was in a confined space, I felt my self sat in the drivers seat of a car, I could see my surroundings and the fact I was parked up in a street, I could see the keys swinging back and fourth while still in the ignition, cars and people were passing.  I looked down at my own physical body and noticed the energy of a spirit was sat on top of me, I could see there hands on top of my hands, what I was now seeing through my eyes was what he was seeing through his eyes before the following happened.  I began to feel something coming down my nose and touch my mouth, in fright I quickly touched my face but there was nothing there, I could taste blood, but yet there was no blood and then the pain came but not my pain my head or his head felt like it was about to explode.  I totally realised what was going on, this spirits energy was strong and he was letting me have a up close and personal experience of his last moments on this earth.  I relayed everything as it was happening to the lady, her partner had indeed pulled up in the car in the said surrounding, he then had a massive brain hemorrhage and died instantly. I explained the unusual picture I saw on the key ring of the keys in the car, I felt the spirit say to me that she had them in her handbag, I asked her if that was the case and of course she did, she got them out for me to see.

Story two

I sat in my room where I carried out private readings relaxing and clearing my mind getting ready for my two o’clock appointment, as I was doing so I started to become aware of the energy of spirit coming close, this was not uncommon and if anything made me happier because I know that we might have a good reading in store, I took my notepad and pen and began to write down the name that was coming through and various other bits and bobs, as I was doing this my attention was suddenly taken to the commotion that was going on in the main shop area, I could hear several loud voices all explaining to the receptionist that they had made a booking for a reading, due to how loud they were talking it was hard not to hear every word that was spoken and there were a lot of vulgarities I can tell you, they also told the lady at the desk that all three of them were coming in at the same time.  I thought it was quite amusing and I always remember the one Lady saying    “We have been to loads of these things, never had a good one yet, is he any good this guy, I’m not going to be happy if he is shit.”    I left my room and entered the main shop area saying hello to the ladies and explained I will be with them in a few minutes, I then went in to another room and fetched a further three chairs and returned back to my room and placed them out so there were now four chairs in front of me.  I then asked the ladies to join me and take a seat, as they entered the room one of the ladies said          “There’s only three of us not four”    I closed the door and replied    “I know the fourth one is for your sister (and mentioned her name) who has been waiting for the last fifteen minutes” I then told them that she was as loud as them.  Funny enough they were lost for words for the rest of the reading and just listened.

Story three

I’m not going to share any of the reading that took place on this particular occasion because what sticks me happened before we even got to that stage.  I was making a cup of tea in the kitchen at the back of the shop when I heard the door go, there was someone on reception so I finished off making my brew and then entered back in to the room, I instantly noticing a couple stood at the top end of the room and as I did I felt and heard the running of a very young child run from one end of the shop to the other and grab my leg, I rocked forward nearly spilling my drink a little, they said they needed answers and asked if I could help them.  I asked if they had lost there daughter?

 Story four

I went to bed one evening that was no different to any other night and found my self having a good nights sleep and very surreal dream, In the dream my partners grandmother who I was very found of but had unfortunately died a few years earlier approached me and explained that she was doing fine.  Now when it comes to the spiritual stuff I’m a hard person to please so I could of quite easily just put the whole thing down to a subconscious memory playing out as a dream for some reason but what I found so real about it all was that as she began to walk away from me I shouted out   “Grandma is there really a GOD”   she turned and smiled and said to me,

“Who do you think is the  Giver  Of   Dimensions”

I have never found a better explanation than this and it seems so fitting.

Story five.

Spirit never seem to amaze me with how they can transfer information and convey messages, weather it is symbols, pictures, feelings or any other number of ways that it happens and another great way of this is when I can just sit back close my eyes and watch the movie, no effort is needed at all just watch for several minutes and then tell the client exactly what happened.  One such time of this is when a young couple came to see me the movie began with a urn of ashes with mum on the front in the centre of a fireplace in a living room, I watched as the couple in front of me and several others made there way to a beauty spot at a local park where at which point they scattered the ashes on the pool and a swan left the water and crossed there path, I was also aware that while they were scattering the ashes the couple were now in full wedding dress.  I relayed the full movie of events to the couple and also asked them if the place were they scattered the ashes was the place that they had there wedding photo’s taken?  They explained to me that they had indeed made the arrangements to do just as the movie portrayed, and it was the same spot where they had wedding photos taken.  I asked what they meant by planned, they then informed me that mum was still in the chapel of rest the funeral had not taken place yet, and they were having a hard time dealing with it all.   I got a message several weeks later from the couple explaining that when they were scattering the ashes the swan made it’s appearance just like in the movie.

Story six   

Any one who knows me knows that when it comes to anything like paranormal investigations or things along the same nature I run a mile, I’m just not into it all.  One thing I do believe is that anything living gives off energy and from this energy it leaves a fingerprint of its events that can be tapped into, the stronger the event the stronger the fingerprint.  Death would be a strong finger print especially in unexpected circumstances like an accident or a murder, wedding days or  birthdays being anothers, the way I see it is the stronger the emotion positive or negative the stronger the energy and the bigger the fingerprint and it’s this energy where psychic work comes in and excels.  A great example of this was when I had agreed to do a house visit and read for a family, before we got started I asked if I could use the bathroom, whilst washing my hands I became aware of my feelings and closed my eyes, I was suddenly watching a gentleman enter the bathroom through the window that was in front of me, carrying something in his hand, I watched as he made his way down the stairs where a fight broke out with another man, during the fight they both ended up smashing through the patio doors and the intruder stabbed the other man.  A massive emotional event that had left a strong fingerprint.  I finished in the bathroom and made my way back down stairs, I asked the host of the evening how long they had lived in the house and if they had ever been burgled, they said four years and that they had never been burgled.  They then explained that the house had been empty for a few years previous to there purchase and they got the house cheaper due to the fact that apparently a violent robbery had taken place.  I explained what I saw whilst in the bathroom, but downstairs I could not see any patio doors, the host then walked over and tapped her knuckles on the back wall, and said when they first moved into the house one of the first jobs they did was have the patio bricked up because they did not like it.

Story seven   

I could not make a short list of things with out throwing in one of my very first connections and messages from spirit that did not involve the tarot or any other tools.  It was not a mind blowing reading by any means but it just sticks with me because it was one of my first in public and I have never forgot it.  I had decided to attend a spiritualist church for the first time and after the demonstration from the guest medium people were invited to stay to participate in what was called an open circle, as the title suggests about thirty people all sat on chairs in a big circle and began with a short prey and meditation, during this time I felt a male presence on my right side and in my minds eye I could see a large gentleman sat at a computer in a living room by the window eating fast food.  I felt his words explain his nickname and that his wife was in the circle.  The lady leading the circle called out to me and asked if I had something to share, I replied by saying no, but she knew I did and called me into the centre of the circle to share the information.  I remember I did not have much hairs and graces about how I portrayed the message in-fact I probably came across very rude at the time as I mentioned that I thought the gentleman smelled strongly of body odour and urine.  After I relayed the message I was more than surprised when I saw a lady hold her hand up, and even more surprised when she said  “that was my husband and the smell was not his fault, he had cancer that ate him away, and that is why he had to sit by the window.”  As well as being some what embarrassed for the way I had delivered the message I was also in disbelieve I was amazed and it felt great.


For some one who has had an upbringing of no religious beliefs except maybe the lords prey at the end of school assembly and a complete lack of knowledge of any other teachings, it’s fair to say the following came some what of an eye opener……..

I have been looking forward to sharing the next few paragraphs with you since I first decided to start writing this blog. I think it’s only fair to share some of the amazing highs I have had while on this journey, and how much better can it get than coming up close and personal with the energy of higher consciousness in the form of what I would regard as the masters or the teachers. The two occasions that I intend to share with you in this article both came about during healing sessions of reiki. One occasion while I was carrying out a healing session on a client and the other was whilst I was having a session of healing my self.

The Master Jesus:

Looking in the diary there was only one booking for the day, it was for a mid-afternoon healing session, closer to the time I turned the heating on low and set the room up ready with some soft angelic music playing in the background, I then followed my usual preparation routine and awaited the arrival of the client. Right on time the shop door went and in came a two ladies which turned out to be a mother and daughter relationship, the mother explained it was the daughter who had made the booking but she was a little nervous so she was going to sit in on the session with her. I explained the basic’s of how the healing was none invasive and I would not be placing my hands on the client but a few inches higher starting at the head and working my way down until the feet, I also asked the client that should I pick up on any psychic information or be joined by spirit would they like to know this, jumping up on to the bed she replied “Sure, that would be great.”

The session began with me spending a moment in silence and in my thoughts asking to be joined by the energy of the reiki master Mikao Usui, the clients loved ones in spirit and all the healing angels. I then began the healing spending several minutes in each position from the head to the shoulders to the heart to the abdominal and so on, there was a lovely atmosphere in the room very calm and relaxing, with nothing to note in terms of psychic or medium-ship activity, after about 30 minutes I had gotten to a stage in the healing where I had moved to the base of the bed to work on the clients feet as I got in to position and closed my eyes I was immediately greeted by a huge serge of energy from behind me as if the wall behind me had turned into a massive open door way and from the doorway came the most radiating and profound light and energy I have ever experienced, out of this opening stepped towards me the figure of a man that almost seemed to be emanating the light and energy as he walked closer to me, even though everything was happening behind me it was if I had a full 360 degree vision and feelings of everything that was happening and as the figure got closer my feelings turned from that of what the crap is going on and apprehension to one of extreme comfort.

Soon I was starting to be submerged by this amazing energy that was behind me until the figure was close enough to wrap his arms around me and completely engulf me with-in this bubble of fantastic light, by now I could clearly see that the person stood behind me either was or had taken the form of the master/teacher Jesus Christ at the same time of realising this I felt what I can only describe as a gentle kiss on my neck, tears were rolling down my face with happiness I was in a state of total bliss, I had no feelings or sensations of my body, the best way I have always tried to describe the whole episode was if I had picked up and cradled in his arms as he slowly walked me into a warm swimming pool I felt so safe and free I wanted to stay there. It was and still is to this day the most profound thing that has ever happened to me and if this is what you experience upon death then I’m ok with that. As things continued the attention was turned back towards the client the master Jesus appeared to reach out and place his hands above the clients feet as if he was carrying out the healing, at the same time I began to see in my minds eye horrible little goblins coming out of the clients feet dropping to the floor and disappearing, after this the energy began to pull back towards the doorway it had emerged from and final disappear, I continued and concluded the session before touching the client on the shoulder to let her know I had finished, I then took a seat and spent a few moments to take in what had just happened.

The two ladies looked as if they had just woken up and now wanted to know what I had to say, I asked the client about her experiences during the session as I was still undecided if I was going to say anything about what I had seen and experienced, she said she had just felt totally at ease and thought she might of actually drifted off to sleep, the mum spoke out saying she thought she had also fell asleep and wanted to stay for the rest of the day as everything was so peaceful. I had decided by now that I had to say some thing about what had gone on even if they thought I had lost the plot, as I was explaining the whole story I noticed the ladies looking at each other before the mum said “show him, show him” at which point the client slipped off her shoes and took off her socks, her feet were covered in warts and verrucas she explained she had suffered with them for a very long time and was under the local hospital for treatment for them, that might not of been the reason why she came that day but it certainly made for an unbelievable experience for me. The lady returned with her mum for a further two sessions of reiki at which point she once again removed her shoes and socks to display a pair of beautifully infection free feet. Although she never mentioned the healing sessions to the consultant at the hospital, she was discharged and informed that they had not seen such a speedy recovery to what was a very severe case of the infected warts and verrucas. I would like to thing along with what ever treatment she was receiving from the hospital what happened that day went along way to helping her recover from a problem that had been going of for a very long time.

The Master Ganesh and Lady Green Tara

I had been putting it off for weeks but finally I agreed and set a time and date to attend a persons house who had been offering to give me a session of reiki healing. I had nothing going on in my life at the time that made me feel like I needed a session of healing but I knew how much love and passion the person had for it all so the date was set. I have to say here I’m a little bit of a hypocrite because as much as I would recommend reiki to anyone and advise them to just relax let your self go and enjoy the whole experience, I am very bad at taking my own advice, there are reasons for this that I will tell you in a future article, but any one who is considering reiki healing I would say it is a very uplifting helpful and positive experience.

When the day arrived I turned up at the house and was greeted by the person and his partner, we had a cup of tea and a chat and they asked if I did not mind if both of them carried out the healing on me, “yea what ever, I not arsed” I said. They had one of those big fancy reclining leather chairs that nearly stretched out like a bed for me to relax in and covered me over with a light blanket, I tried to relax as one took hold of my head and the other my feet but kept opening one eye to have look what was going on, after a while I did begin to feel more relaxed and comfortable and thought I’m going to try and let my self go with the flow and just enjoy it. After a while I realised the feelings between the top half of my body and the bottom felt very different, the bottom half was still very much in the room I was wiggling my toes moving my legs every now and again to keep a feeling of control but around my head and shoulders I began to feel a nice energy and light, it was not the same profound light that I get when spirit come close this more like looking up on a beautiful summers day, blue sky and white fluffy clouds.

Out of nowhere I saw a female arm with sparkling accessories stretch out to me, I clasped the hand and got pulled up into those clouds, I stood to admire that what was before me it was female beauty at its finest, wow I thought and she was green what was that all about, she began to walk and I knew with out her speaking I was to follow, not that I needed much encouragement a hot female is a hot female weather there green or not. As I walked amongst the clouds behind her we soon came to an abrupt stand still, there was something before me, I could not quite work out what it was at first but then it became obvious it was a giant set of feet, as I slowly started to gaze upwards at what was before me radiant colours beamed like rays of sunshine, it was a giant but not man it appeared to have the head of an elephant it was magnificent and I was in ore of what was before me. What ever was going on I thought this is better and more real than any dream I have ever had.

Spirit communication takes place with no words needing to be spoken out loud, but I could feel the conversation that was taking place, well I say conversation all I remember saying was oh my god, oh my god and thank you, thank you, and thank you. The person or thing before me finally finished by asking me to give gifts to the two people who were carrying out the healing, a Yellow Rose for the lady and a Pomegranate for the gentleman, maybe not the most luxury of gifts in relation to the magnificence that was before me but that is what was given so I agreed to pass the gifts on. Soon after the healing session came to an end the chair was reclined back to the sitting up position and I was offered a glass of water, I felt amazing and began to try and explain the things that I had seen, to my surprise the gentleman started to mention a few names and talk about a Hindu God, it meant nothing to me so he began to load up his computer and show me some images, I could not believe what I was seeing, he was showing me pictures on the computer of the two things I had just seen and witnessed during the healing session, I had never heard or came across any thing like this before and now I had a name for them, Lady Green Tara and the Master Ganesh.

I then told them about the gifts that I was asked to give them which we then looked up on the computer to see if we could find out if they had any significant meaning, The yellow rose meant a lot to the lady straight away because it turned out she had not long lost her mum and it was her mum’s favourite flower, she also said they were used at the funeral. The spiritual meaning was something like hope, new beginnings and joy. When we searched for information about the pomegranate we found out that it held so much significance in many cultures and beliefs and had deep meanings. When I was asked to give them these gifts by the Master Ganesh I have to admit I just thought it was a piece of fruit and a flower but they were so much more, these were very special spiritual gifts and I feel very blessed to have seen what I did and to pass them on to them.

First read, Can’t read, Wont read. (Part 3)

Sharing my experiences and moving forward on this journey, lets share it together.

Spirituality lets be serious.

Wont Read

Once upon a time when trying to be something I was not, I opened the doors on a fancy little new age spiritual shop. I offered all your spiritual requirements and needs from tarot cards to crystals from readings to development class’s from healing to a cup of coffee and a chat. Everyday was different, customers browsed and brought a few items they liked, others made a booking for a reading or a healing session, others would want to talk and share there spiritual experiences and then we had people who felt the shop was a place you came to share the everyday troubles in your life, and as the new found good Samaritan on the high street I would of course listen. I think the sign above the door should of read ‘Walk-In Public Toilet’ because the amount of emotional human crap and spiritual bullshit that was…

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First read, Can’t read, Wont read. (Part 3)

Wont Read

Once upon a time when trying to be something I was not, I opened the doors on a fancy little new age spiritual shop. I offered all your spiritual requirements and needs from tarot cards to crystals from readings to development class’s from healing to a cup of coffee and a chat. Everyday was different, customers browsed and brought a few items they liked, others made a booking for a reading or a healing session, others would want to talk and share there spiritual experiences and then we had people who felt the shop was a place you came to share the everyday troubles in your life, and as the new found good Samaritan on the high street I would of course listen. I think the sign above the door should of read ‘Walk-In Public Toilet’ because the amount of emotional human crap and spiritual bullshit that was dumped in there was phenomenal. Looking back maybe to enter I should of put a 20p usage charge on the door, it might of gone some way to help cover the cost of flushing it all away.

The shop was like a big bag of mixed toffee’s attracting everything from a Harry Potter wan-a be to UFO enthusiasts, Goth s, Pagan’s, Witches, Devil worshippers, Paranormal lovers, Buddhists, Indians, Shamans, Ascended masters, people sent from other planets to earth to share there message’s (“Na-Nu Na-Nu” for those that remember Mork and Mindy”) to Bi-polar and the manic depressed you name it I got to meet them, and although I had my own thoughts and feelings on a lot of these subjects, I’m was hardly in a position to make judgement after all I was their telling people I can read energy and connect with spirit.
At first I wanted to try and help where ever I could, I would listen and even try to read for them. I think this was the main reason for the visit and I have to say at times people will go along way to get a free reading. This was big mistake number (ONE.) It’s very important to be selfish when it comes to your own health and time, boundaries have to be set for the safety and responsibility of your self and for the person. If there is a reason to believe someone is not of a sound mind, on a heavy medication, intoxicated or even just a little extreme with there believes and way of life then I will no longer do a reading, I just think it’s pointless, it can mess with your own head and the messages that may come through just fall on deaf ears any way, some times people only hear what they want to hear and believe what they want to believe.

Another example of people I Won’t read for is those that have just lost somebody, especially in tragic circumstances and they are still very much in the disorientated dream like state and are not thinking clear.
It has nothing to do with the spirit of the person that has past over they are their make no mistake about it. I don’t really follow when people say it takes time for the spirit to settle in and have a cup of tea on the other side of life before letting people know they have made it, because that would contradict so many other things, like there is no time in the spirit world and spirit is omnipresent, and I have experienced spirit connecting with me even before the relative has contacted me to say they have crossed over.
A personal experience of this was when one day two ladies entered the shop one was in a terrible state, screaming, crying and barley able to stand with out the assistant of the other person holding her up. They insisted they needed a reading straight away, it did not take a genius to work out something terrible had happened why else would some one be in such a state, but as this was in the early days of my journey I did sit with the lady to see what I could pick up and although it was by no means a good reading I was shown enough to know and explain to her that her son was now on spirit side of life and that he taken his own life. (I was later informed it had been less than 24 hours since it happened) I honestly believe after making the connection I could of told her anything and she would of believed me or followed through anything I suggested. The mind is an amazing thing but when under extreme stress and pressure it reacts in unusual ways and can record and store information that can be very unhelpful and long lasting hence people with anxiety, panic attacks and distorted ideas about things but I will not go there lets leave that for the experts. Due to this incident I took the step to enrol on a counselling course not because I wanted to be a counsellor but because I wanted to try and equip my self better with knowledge (let the potato root see the light) should I be in this situation again. I would like to think most spiritual people are probably more qualified at counselling than they think and are more empathic to a clients needs than they might realise, but on the other hand I also think a lot of counsellors are more spiritual than they might realise, to truly help another human being is a gift no matter how it is done.

I hope from the first few blog entries you have started to pick up on how much the whole spirituality subject means to me it is something that is very close to my heart. At times it has made me so angry and even filled me with fear but on more occasions it has filled me with love and wonder and the unbelievable curiosity to understand more. Having experienced what I have to date I can now say I would rather walk away and have absolutely nothing to do with it all than get swallowed up with pretentious falseness that I have seen. Let me share with you a couple of my experiences that has led me to change my thoughts and feelings on a few things.

Television: Let’s not pretend it’s not a business it is, but as long as the ethics behind the idea are correct it is a fantastic way to express, show and open people’s thoughts to the true side of spirituality and life after death. There is one or two shows out there that are respectable and you can tell the intentions of the mediums are genuine. Several shows on the networks are no more than entertainment at best, nothing wrong with that we all like a bit of entertainment, and then we have the shows that are boarding on criminal, I was once in contact with such a company and was asked to travel to London to meet with it’s producers, I was so excited and nervous wondering where it could all lead, I travelled for a few hours by train, bus and then foot finally arriving at the building, I was asked to wait in the open plan reception where I sat down on the lovely leather chairs provided and picked up the large portfolio folder that was on the table in front of me, as I opened it I was greeted by a selection of high class photography of naked woman that left nothing to the imagination, from a heterosexual male point of view happy days but from a spiritual point of view not so sure, I looked up from the folder as my attention was drawn to the high heeled, highly make-upped beautiful woman that entered the reception area from the lift wearing a short fur coat, nothing else just the coat and it was short, it turned out that the late night soft pornography channels were also filmed in the building as it was all part of the same production company, perks of the job I guess. Soon after my name was called and I followed the smartly dressed young man into an office where another equally young and smartly dressed man was sat, after introductions and small talk I was asked to do my magic, by this point I did not feel I needed to open the box containing my tarot cards I had already stared to feel and pick up things for one of the gentlemen sat in front of me, I closed my eyes and then relayed several pieces of information, the name of the girl he was seeing, where he had to travel from each day and the problems he was having relocating, a medical issue with his dad and stuff about his sister making a surprise visit from Australia where she lived. The gentlemen looked at me and one said “What you sit there and just get stuff ?” Yes I replied how do all the others work, he explain that some used cards, others crystals others numerology which is standard and fine but he then went on to explain that a problem they might have is keeping people on the telephone lines for prolonged periods of time and censoring and limiting the information that was said, he was honest and openly said it’s all about the money and I respected that, I knew I was not what they were looking for and I knew they were not for me.

Phone Lines: A similar story to the TV work as it is an opportunity to expand your work load and increase your profile and with out doubt you can give a very good reading with out the person being in front of you, but again for me it just never felt right, one day a very well spoken lady phoned me, I quickly connected with the energy of her husband that had passed over, after the energy had pulled back and the messages had been given the lady wanted to tell me all about her life with her husband she was telling all this while out in the country side walking the dogs while on a mobile phone, I stopped her on several occasion to explain the call would be costing her a small fortune but she did not care, I even went against the companies rules and offered my private home number so she could avoid the premium rate that was involved but she did not mind she just wanted to talk about her husband. The next day she called me again, I never even attempted to make a connection I just said I could not get anything and brought the call to a premature end. I only did the job for a week and that was a six days to long, I would like to think how much these companies are making and in a way they are offering a service to people who are searching for something, but it just did not feel right and I won’t be reading for a phone company ever again.

First read, Can’t read, Wont read. (Part 2)

Can’t read

A common question I often get asked is “Are you seeing or feeling anything around me right know” simple question really and here is the simple answer “No” if I did I would bloody tell you, in fact I would be pretty dam excited and curious myself, now that’s not to say that on times things have not happened, I have been in places or around people and things have happened but that’s another story in another blog entry.
In my typical everyday life I get nothing, I do not try I don’t even choose to think about it, I’m getting on with my day job, family and leisure time and that’s that, but If I decide I want to try and make a connection for some one, It can happen as easy as turning on a light switch, if I close my eyes see and feel the light and see my guide come forward and give me the military salute then were in business and of we go, and I kind of like it like that it gives me control.
One thing I have never understood is that when things in my own life are not so good if I try and read for myself I get nothing, if I try for my partner nothing but put a stranger in front of me and I could tell you what they had for breakfast, who they were with yesterday and explain what happens at the family wedding weather it has happened yet or not!!
Since the beginning of my spiritual journey there have been times when I have been blocked from making a connection with spirit by my guides. There has also been times when clients have made a booking sat in front of me and nothing not a sausage, just me sat there like a little fat Buddha eyes closed praying something happens so I don’t feel like a complete tit. This may be something a lot of clients would not realise, but sometimes hours before they arrive I would be thinking and hoping everything goes well, for them and for me, time would be spent relaxing and meditating trying to clear the mind of the everyday crap that is whirling around and if you’ve had an argument with your partner or a few outstanding bills need paying that’s not as easy as it sounds. So if nothing happened I would be so gutted for the client, I can feel there disappointment and this would lead me to be angry and pissed of with spirit for putting me in that position and making me feel that way it made no sense.
The more I try to understand I believe when no connection is made it might be because of two reasons, One because spirit can see the bigger picture and the need and reasoning for the client having a reading is just not correct and serves no purpose at that time. Or Two the medium who the client has chosen to visit does not have the life experience’s or the spiritual vocabulary switchboard to correctly pass forward the message that is needed and required. Although I always ask there is never any guarantee’s that the person the client is hoping to connect with is the first to come through after all if the clients dad was a quite gentle mannered person but the mother in-law was a loud opinionated so and so who do think is going to be at the front of that queue.
There have been occasions when a client has sat in front of me and spirit has come forward only to be greeted by the client saying “I do not want a message from them, I hated them we never got on”. This can be a very strong emotional tie that is keeping the client and the spirit connected and although the clients emotions may not be ready to release this attachment the spirit is now desperate for the tie to be cut as it knows it serves no purpose and prevents the client from moving on in there life.

(I will explain in future blog’s the unbelievable if not unlimited intelligence of source energy and explain why it is so important to release attachments that can halt your spiritual growth and physical life)

For benefit of understanding and interpretation on occasions when spirit is acknowledging that wrongs were made in there physical life they would appear to me at a distance and at times even in a circle of fire that they were not allowed to cross, for me this was the spirits way of trying to explain that they had done wrong on the earth plane and are now looking to extinguish the pain and make peace with the client. On at least two occasions during connection with spirit the feelings have become very uncomfortable and my guides have slammed the door shut on the light and brought the reading to an abrupt end, I can only trust that my guides are looking after my best interests.

Upon learning of other people’s spiritual experiences I find it can be difficult to take as gospel, that is until something happens that changes your thinking. One such occurrence of this happened while doing a demonstration evening In front of about 40 people I had invited a medium who I had met at a local spiritualist church to join me. Normally a few minutes before I start while getting focused I would already be getting a mixture of messages and an idea of where I’m going in the room but as I sat there nothing, I stood up to start hoping to be quickly joined by the energy of spirit looking to connect with a member of the crowd, but nothing. I apologised and sat back down trying to pick up a link, the guest medium stood up, they were buzzing and began to deliver message after message they were on a roll. I sat with my eyes closed asking my guides what was going on at all, I’m getting nothing and It’s making me feel like a complete dick it was embarrassing, these people had come to see me and I was going down quicker than a bouncy castle with the plug released, the message quickly came back from my guide that I was not only being blocked by the other medium, but there was a person at the back of the hall sending me very negative thoughts, I was having all my energy zapped out of me, and just like a big personality taking over a room and not letting anyone else speak, I had shrivelled up like an over cooked piece of bacon. I do not think the guest medium knew any of this and I certainly never mentioned it I just think they were feeling very confident and wanted to shine on the night and unfortunately for me sucked up all the energy around us like a high powered vacuum cleaner. The main thing was they delivered a fantastic night of messages and people left very happy, I was left to swallow a little bit of pride but no harm done and may be more important things for me personally were learned that evening. I would now agree that it is true your energy can be blocked, drained and even damaged. So if we take this example into everyday life you can start to see why people go on so much about why it is so important to surround yourself with positive people, places and situations and also why being around negative people, places and situations can bring you down, make you feel ill and prevent positive experiences.

First read, Can’t read, Wont read. (Part 1)

The First Read

The first time I read for a stranger I was left dumbfounded as to what happened. I asked a friend who had an interest in the tarot and had done readings before to join me. We set up about an hour before the client was due to arrive, I placed a ridiculously large candle that had been purchased from the local supermarket at one end of the dining room table and an incense stick gently smouldering away at the other. Having some one there with me certainly helped calm the nerves and keep things more upbeat than anything serious. We spent ten minutes or so following stuff we had learned and read in books, we closed our eyes and began to take several deep breaths while following a chakra opening exercise and allowing our minds to become clear. Well my mind might of been clear but by now the room certainly was not, it was filled with smoke and it stunk. “get that put out while I open the window, and turn the light on,
what are we sat in the dark for” I said.
The client arrived and we thanked them for being our guinea pig for the evening, we explained that we planned on doing a Celtic cross tarot reading that it should cover current, past, and hopefully future issues. We asked the client to take the cards give them a good shuffle and split them into three piles and choose a pile, we then took the top 10 cards from the chosen pile and placed them out on the table face up. As I stared over the cards that had been selected I began to feel information randomly jumping out at me and filling my mind and mouth with things I wanted to say to the client, I refrained and held back as I saw my friend next to me flicking through the little information booklet you get inside a pack of tarot cards.
“so this card in this position means this and this card here means that,
does that make sense”? he asked.
The client was vague and replied “well I suppose I could take that, money has been tight and I could do with a rest I have been working hard.”
It seemed to take for ever as each card and it’s meaning was looked up in the book and read out and after about 3 cards I could not hold back my eagerness to say something any longer and just blurted out “do you have two children a boy and a girl and is Robert your husband”? “Yes” came back the reply “and do you have one parent still alive and one that has been passed over for about 4 years”? “yes” was the reply again, the client shuffled and sat up more in there chair looking intrigued as to how I would know this information, as did my friend and in all fairness I was thinking exactly the same. As we continued my friend read the meanings from the book and I continued to just say what I felt, I also began to notice that as I was looking at the cards things in the pictures seemed to stand out more than others and together the ten cards were telling a story to me that mirrored the feeling and thoughts I was getting. How could it be possible to feel information about some one you had never met I thought?
After the cards we moved on and asked the client if we could hold items of there jewellery, I held a watch and closed my eyes, after a few seconds out of the blackness of having your eyes closed I began to see flashing random images things like a street name, a car, names and people I was also having a mixture of feelings, I began to relay all I saw and felt to the client who responded by saying they understand everything that was being said. The basis of the evening was to give a card reading and to experiment with a little psychometry and for my first real attempt I felt things had gone well but little did I know things were about to take an even bigger and better twist. I gave the clients watch to my friend and he gave me the rings he had been holding, I closed my eyes again but this time the feelings seemed different in stead of having feelings from with in me, it began to feel more like a presence around and by me, almost like when some one creeps up behind you with out you knowing but when they get really close you can feel them. I stared into the blackness once again and the best way I could describe things would be like seeing a tiny twinkling star far away that was slowly coming towards me beating and flashing in time like a pulse, as it came closer and bigger it became brighter and brighter until it came so close it was like an interrogation lamp had been shoved in my face, even though my eyes were closed It felt as If I was submerged in the most radiant light and it felt amazing. Little did I know but this was about to become my first contact and message from the spirit world.


It appears everywhere you look you can now find books, magazines, blogs and even video clips about every aspect of spirituality. There is enough information out there already to last two life times and that’s great, people’s awareness and opinions seem to be changing from a total disregard of the subject to one of a raised eyebrow of interest or dare I say it, to a big toe in the water, and with so much negativity being thrown down our throats who can blame people for looking elsewhere to brighten up the day a little.

The material content out there is a mixed bag – some very good, some very bad yet most of it is simply repeating other people’s teachings and experiences over and over again with a fancy new sugar coated twist. So I find myself writing this with a mixture of emotions: the biggest part of me feels “why bother”, but I have nothing better to do on this sunny Sunday afternoon, the kids are out playing it’s international weekend so no football on and it would just be good to get a few things off my chest and on to paper. The annoying thing is, I have this little niggling part of me that goes against everything I have promised myself and others, that feels a need to express this stuff for the few people out there that might just want and need to hear it.

So lets bring you up to speed with things, 2008 and the closest thing I came to anything spiritual was to see if Mystic Meg had the lotto numbers for me in the daily paper and I did once stand on an old bible to get a better look on a top shelf.
It’s fair to say things had not been going great at work for the past 6 to 12 months and had in turn put pressure on finances, so when one night while at work “Bang” or should I say ” BOO ” – my first spiritual experience. Looking back it could so easily have been brushed off as tiredness, stress, or even an unusual coincidence of freaky events, but after explaining the whole episode to a close friend one thing led to another and before I knew it we were sat giggling at the back of a spiritual church and purchasing my first pack of angel and tarot cards from some fancy little new age shop in Sweden.
Eureka I have found the true meaning of life, a life after life everything, is going to be ok now I remember thinking, my business will be miraculously saved, money will flow to me with ease, people will chant my name and throw petals where I walk upon hearing of this amazing feat. The experiences came like water from a tap as did people who wanted a reading or help developing their own ability and wanting to know how I was doing it all, the truth was then as it is now “I do not know” .

It was an great escape from all the every day stuff I had going on, it was so exciting and fun and my thirst to know more and understand things better went unquenched. If someone said to me they were interested or actually did anything spiritual then I was all ears… hey here are my house keys and the pin number to my debit card help yourself, because my thoughts during the early days was if your’e feeling and experiencing things like me than surely there is not a bad bone or thought in your body, lets all drink green tea, hold hands and chant OMMMMM in a dark room around a candle until we feel so happy you would think there was something extra in the incense sticks.

By now I hope you have picked up on a slight sarcasm in these paragraphs because the real facts were that while these amazing experiences were happening, nothing much else was, my business’s continued to follow the inevitable and ended up closing down, my properties were either sold or taken from me as was my transport and with my business went my job and income, but hey lets not worry, pack away those violins, I was now surrounded by all theses new found friends and was making people happy on a daily basis by connecting them with loved ones or telling them what was likely to be happening in the next few months. Surely all this new heaven sent work I was doing and just being so happy and positive would soon open the gates of manifestation and the new direction paved with gold will magically appear before me at any time. Local papers wrote a few articles, as did a top spiritual magazine, weekly demonstrations in front of small audiences followed, several development workshops a week and one-to-one private readings most days. Finally I was heading in a direction with purpose once more, but no, hold on to your crystal ball and head scarfs instead it seems I managed to open the doors of not only sceptic central but to every opinionated do-gooder from born-again Christians telling me I will burn in hell for evermore, to the witches of East-wick informing me that my aura is in need of a magic wash, to a fascinating woman who had the whole angelic realm in her handbag just underneath her purse and business cards.

This was all to much to take it was no longer fun, it was bordering on weird and damn right frightening. Then with people I had never met taking it upon themselves to put 2+2 together and make 5, and printing articles with words like liar and fraud I could see things heading in only one direction and I’m not talking about cracking the American music industry, I read somewhere that I was so rich from my new found work that it was the real reason my business closed, but If they ever bothered to ask me, book a reading or speak to any number of people who had came to see me they would of quickly been informed I hardly ever charged. I was and in ways still am on my own agenda, I wanted in -fact I needed- unknown clients to book appointments so I could carry out my own tests and build my own records of evidence and portfolio of the information I was receiving, I needed to know did I always feel energy to the right for male? and energy to the left for female? Did the symbol of an apple always represent the illness cancer? Did broccoli always mean bronchitis? Did a stork always mean a baby on the way and did seeing a celebrity always mean that was the first name of the person trying to connect, the only way to learn and develop was to read for more people and the more new experiences and symbols you linked together the more people you need but trying to get the balance between time wasters, piss takers, and actual interested clients is a whole other story.
Over the course of nearly 3 years I would not like to think how much money was spent on things like attending other peoples courses, having readings from people who said they were mediums or psychics, fancy fairs and general overhead costs, none of which I could attribute to my own understandings, but a day out I guess?
I used to be there telling people on a daily basis how important it is to be positive have trust and that everything is exactly how it needs to be but on the inside I was screaming out
“Nothing seems to be going very well for me”

You would think at some point all of these people with amazing gifts I was surrounded by would pick up on some of my personal information? But no, not as much as my kids or partner’s names or what my profession was, or the closure of my business. Ha Ha Ha what a dumb ass I hear you say, and maybe you’re right, slowly as I pulled back from being so full on and due to a few very unpleasant spiritual experiences, things no longer seemed so appealing to my list of new found acquaintances and I saw less and less of them, and those of them who felt things never quite turned out as beautifully as they were expecting even jumped on the rolling bandwagon of bullshit and slander and went to great lengths to try and discredit my work.
I could no longer do this it was making me ill, upsetting my family and there was nothing and I mean nothing to make me feel that I should continue.
I remember being told early on a spiritual path is like a roll-a-coaster, (no shit Sherlock) and over these years I have had some great highs in terms of personal experiences and have made some very close friends from it all, but there has been some unbearable lows, both mentally and emotionally which I can find no reasonable answers for, and for this I was left with more questions than you could ever think possible. It’s been over 5 years since I said no more I’m done with it all, my life has moved on.
I went back to college,got a new job and even relocated for a fresh start, but I can not run from what burns inside of me and at times comes with such ease. It would be like I’m lying to myself and by not expressing myself or at very least doing something like this article then that would be my biggest regret.

I would love to share so much with people who have a thirst to know more and would like to here more about my experiences and if that in turn answer a few questions then great, but it’s important you know from the off that it isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and people are on thier own path and at times that might go straight across yours.

Topics to cover and so much more: Reiki, Universal Ordering, Energy, Ghosts, Heaven & Hell, Development, Psychic work, Medium-ship, Tarot, Angels, Spirit Guides, Feelings and emotions.